Remember the word that East Village bar/performance space/drollery Mo Pitkin's House of Satisfaction would remain open while the building owners shopped it for $5.5 million? Er, not so much. In an email to performers booked at the space that went out last night, the venue reveals its last day will be October 20—and that, uh, press coverage is the culprit:
Dear Mo's Performers, We're sorry to say, but Mo Pitkin's will be closing on October 20th, 2007, with a closing night party/performance on October 21st at 8pm. Building our bi-level performance space was an enormous undertaking, done with a lot of love, but it created a debt load that the club just could not sustain. Our deepest apologies to all those with gigs subsequent to that; with the recent press articles about our "imminent" closing, it's just become impossible for us to continue to stay open.You do hate to see that. More of the explain, after the jump. >>

Blue Seats, the recently opened sports bar on the LES that has yet to please locals with its outlandish pricing scheme and long-delayed opening, finally starts serving food towards the end of next week. There is a menu available on their website, but it hasn't been updated. Perhaps we should have a look at the menu being offered for tastings, prices included? It's just below—and we'll give the venue credit for keeping their food prices far more reasonable than their seat prices, which can be upwards of $150/hr.
Before we get there, here's a Blue Seats deathwatch update. Eater conducted a spot inspection of the venue last Saturday, with the Yankees playing the Red Sox and two dozen college football games in progress. Ghost town.
We'll have the Fresh Cut Mozzarella Sticks. >>
Because Eater doesn't aim to be menacing indiscriminately (blah blah, save it for the comments) we waited an extra few hours to drop the Deathwatch stamp on Blue Seats, the Lower East Side sports bar that, it turns out, has the least patron-friendly pricing scheme of all time. But our offer to keep Blue Seats off the Deathwatch in exchange for an adjustment to their pricing structure was met with silence from BS management -- not a surprise, really -- and so we do what must be done.
Blue Seats cannot expect to exist on the LES as a sports bar and charge $50/person minimum for a seat. It's antithetical to New York sports bar culture, certainly in its home neighborhood, and is offensive in that a) the actual blue seats at the Garden, after which the bar was named, are cheaper and b) the bar is clearly not designed for locals, but for B&T/Murray Hill imports. Our offer to management stands: drop the prices and we'll release your bar from the Eater Hospice. At present, over/under on a major rethinking of business strategy: December 2007.
· Deathwatch Ultimatum: On the Blue Seats Pricing Scheme [~E~]
· FW: Please Deathwatch Blue Seats [~E~]

An analysis of the relative cost of a seat at both Blue Seats, the new LES sports bar, named after the cheap seats at MSG, and at MSG, in the blue seats.
Blue Seats opened this weekend with one of the worst sports bar pricing schemes of all time: Standing room, Free; Seats, $50/hr; VIP Seats, $150/hr. This for, yes, a sports bar on the Lower East Side—a neighborhood flush with both heavy drinkers and bars with TV screens, ie. drunk people with options. In our mind, this plan that Blue Seats has, to go on profit margin over drink volume, can't work here. So it's going to go like this: If the owners of Blue Seats don't change their pricing policy by 5 PM today, EST, we're going to put Blue Seats on the Deathwatch.
We agree with the growing crowd that $50/hr for a regular table or $150/hr for VIP seating is an absolute insult to the sports bar genre, not to mention its patrons. Furthermore, this is the Lower East Side we're talking about and there is no Jay-Z-type celebrity owner here to speak of. Blue Seats ownership: you have until 5 PM to be in touch with your new pricing plan, or the Deathwatch is is. We're inking the stamp now.
A special bonus rant from the Eater Complaints Department, up next. >>
Kalina, 8/31/05.
Word came down earlier this week that the East Village, somewhat Jewish-slanting, multi-purpose drinking venue Mo Pitkin's House of Satisfaction had been placed on the market for a cool $5.5 mil, raising questions about the fate of the venue. Today, those questions are answered, at least for now, by owners Jesse and Phil Hartman themselves. Mo Pitkin's will remain open:

Come tomorrow, Tribeca's Devin Tavern will have been on the Deathwatch for an unlucky 13 weeks. An accomplishment in that it's beaten our initial project of shuttering by Labor Day, sure. But the venue remains a sorry sight in other regards. In an what can only be described as a PR misplay, the restaurant drops two bits of gimmickry today, both of which are so thoroughly drenched with the stink of death you'd think the place was already a rotting corpse. Let's have a look.
Continue reading "Deathwatching: Devin Tavern Still Knock Knock Knockin'"
In some cases, the Deathwatching of a restaurant leads immediately to an outpouring of love, confusion, and ire, devoted regulars of the venue stunned that we could be so cruel. In other instances, such as the recent sentencing of Paris Commune, quite the opposite occurs. We hate to beat a dead horse (that's not entirely true), but here now, a picture of why the restaurant is doomed, authored by committee of Eater commenters. Not pretty at all, really.
Comment #16: It was one of the hardest kitchens I've ever seen to work in. It was understaffed (a 3 man line, chef included, putting out some 150-200 meals on a busy nite), there was never a thought given to spacing out reservations and seatings, no restrictions on large parties (one night in particular there were 4 parties of 10+ seated within 30 minutes of each other)an undersized kitchen and on and on. They would hammer it every nite (all the worse after the wine room opened downstairs and they would book it for parties); the worst nite I remember was was when they seated the entire dining in room in one shot (75-80 people) and a party of 30 downstairs. In the span of 10 minutes orders came in for a total of 90 covers, apps and entrees. It was a disaster; there was no way that the last table that ordered was waiting any less than 30-40 minutes for their apps. No telling when they would get their entrees as wasn't even the room to begin cooking that much food. Ugh, enough of that; I could fill pages. In regard to post 14, there was also a copywriter paid a ridiculous amount of money to add "color" to the menus.

The original Paris Commune opened on Bleecker Street in 1979 and was a classic West Village French bistro through the 80s and 90s. The whole thing went to hell in 2004, however, when the restaurant's owners decided to move their restaurant three blocks west, giving the place a significant design overhaul and price point hike in the process. The old Paris Commune was a bustling neighborhood clubhouse; the new Paris Commune is an austere ghost town. Lessons: 1) The people go in for comfy and aged every time; sleek and polished rarely works. 2) Popularity does not always justify price increases and ambitious expansions. 3) Customers have far too many options to stay with you through these drastic-type mistakes.
Paris Commune is, tragically, done. There might be up to another year of pitiful struggle, and they've just started serving lunch, but the end, she is coming on fast.
· Paris Commune [pariscommune.net]

And so comes the end of Jerry's, Jerry Joseph's 20-year old soho diner. Via the Daily News we learn that the restaurant will close for good after Sunday brunch this weekend. It's a familiar story, as we know: the beloved restaurant is giving way to a Michael Kors store, slated to open in the spring.
· New York Minute: Soho Stalwart Jerry's Serving Last Meal [NYDN]
· Crisis Reverted: Jerry's Shuttering [~E~]
· Crisis Averted: Jerry's Not Shuttering [~E~]

Gin Lane, the West 14th Street restaurant that's pushing old world cocktails at a 100-year old oak bar, turned a year last month, a birthday that, because it is the last for so many a new restaurant, automatically gets it a look from the Deathwatch Committee. At twelve months, Gin Lane having not ever taken real hold of the MePa scene, has a big time problem. An expensive build out combined with must be an artificially high, MePa-vicinity rent and very few customers has got to be leaving a mark. But let's go straight to the full disclosure on this one: we know for a fact it's shutting down for an overhaul, according to a variety of chefs, operators and owners who have had a management deal for the space offered to them. We're rooting for Sam Talbot to helm the place in its next life, if only because his fan club is the best looking. Over/Under: Tomorrow.

Sunday, 6:20 P:M; One hour and twenty minutes after its posted opening time.
On schedule, Lower East Side subterranean pizzeria (note photo below, of how uninviting a stairs-down entry way can look in the wrong light) Cronkite has closed its doors for good. Saturday night was their last dance. As for the local color, it goes something like, "TONIGHT WILL BE CRONKITES LAST NIGHT OF OPERATIONS!!!! tHEY HAVE OFFICIALLY SHUTTERED! THIS IS 100% TRUE." Indeed it is. And sad, too.

Sometimes residents of the Eater Hospice spend months and months on death's doorstep, the nurses here forced to mechanically replace their morphine drips every 18 hours seemingly ad infinitum. On the other hand, sometimes death is on schedule. Via the Restaurant Girl, official word from Bullfrog & Baum, who really inherited a stinker when their client Wayne Nish got involved (side memo to Baum: would it have killed you to send us this one release directly?):
On June 18th, Varietal closed its dining room as the owners reexamine the direction of the restaurant. In the meantime, Varietal will continue to welcome guests at its Tasting Bar Monday through Saturday, 5:00pm to Midnight.On to the paperwork: Continue reading "Varietal: And...Done."

Some spaces are beyond Deathwatching. Which is to say that failure is so nearly automatic, given the ghosts haunting them, that the Deathwatch Committee (a prideful group, they) just won't go there.
One such space: 199 Orchard Street, the space that held Kitchen and Cocktails until its sudden demise, and then subsequently the nearly always deserted Big John. So, anyway, here's a stunner—Big John's shuttered. What next for the space? We'd heard rumors the E.U. team had interest, but tipster files this report to set the record straight: " A liquor board app in the window reads Diablo Royale East—meaning a Jason Hennings operation." And like that, the narrative of death and rebirth continues apace in Hell Square.
· Deathwatch Ramblings: Big John's [~E~]
· Kitchen and Cocktails Closes [~E~]

Given that we're on the verge of summer, what better time to Deathwatch an institution who's concept (winter ski lodge) seems so very unappealing at the moment? We're talking about Aspen, the tapas/wild game restaurant which was the recipient of so much buzz when it opened in late 2005. But has this place crossed your mind at all in the past year? Nope, didn't think so. And now, to the Deathwatch committee's damning evidence:
1) That winter wonderland decor only works half of the year. Does anyone want to sit around a firepit in July? Show of hands? No?
2) Massive shilling on Citysearch—always a bad sign
3) Only has 89 friends on MySpace
4) Owner Greg Brier preoccupied with his newest project Amalia
5) Haven't heard as much as a peep from Fox Greenberg PR in months; as a result, press mentions have dried up
6) West 22nd Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenues a complete dead zone at night; walk-in traffic nil
7) Still operating in a world where making table reservations for bottle service is totally acceptable
Let's be honest, here. This establishment has always seemed more club than restaurant. We predict the first move in turning this ship around would be to close the kitchen and proceed as a bar. Though a ton of money was invested in the decor, they might tweak the concept a bit to allow for a reopening and subsequent press blitz. All in all, an interesting case for the Deathwatch team, as Aspen may never shutter completely, but will most likely undergo massive changes to stay afloat. Over/Under on serious movement: September 2007.

Let's cut right to the chase on this one. Since last summer, the Deathwatch Committee has received regular word that the large space occupied by Devin Tavern in Tribeca hasn't exactly been packing them in. (Spot check from November: "On a Wednesday evening it didn’t seem close to full.")
Then came the April shake-up, with chef Chris Dunn shown the door, and the inevitable menu revamp that followed. (Deathwatch Indicator #44: "menu revamp" followed by a "trust us" shill for the new menu in one of the men's e-dailies.) An Eater reader report from the past weekend paints a picture that isn't at all pretty:
I need to tell you about the ridiculous brunch we had at Devin Tavern yesterday. We had been there once before, before the chef was fired, and thought it was nice but the place was weirdly empty. Went back with my family yesterday afternoon, still pretty empty. We were informed when we sat down that the kitchen was out of pancakes. Odd, but whatever. Then, they were out of muffins, followed by grapefruit juice, and then celery for bloody marys. I can understand running out of certain dishes, but celery and grapefruit juice when you are literally across the street from the Food Emporium?The Deathwatch Committee's over/under: not past Labor Day.I mentioned to the server that things were different. He said bitterly, "Yes—it's very hard to smile around here." I think the space is gorgeous, so it would be a shame for it to close. But really, how much longer will this go on?

Jovia
STATUS: CLOSED
Time on the 'Watch: 61 weeks
Prognosis/Analysis: Jovia closed yesterday to become Zoe Townhouse, as planned. Per Zagat: "Renovations will include a brighter bar/lounge area with a brick oven. The new chef at Zoë, Matthew Zappoli, will also be in charge of the uptown kitchen, dishing out cuisine that's "approachable" at lunch, upscale at dinner."

Status: DEATHWATCH
Time on the 'Watch: 13 weeks
Prognosis/Analysis: When we checked in with Mr. Chodorow's shiny meatshrine a few weeks back, the outlook was still grim. (8pm RESY, day of, on a Friday? Not good.) But there may be a strange salvation for Kobe Club that we didn't see coming. From a transcript of today's Rush Limbaugh Show, here's El Rushbo:
RUSH: I gotta tell you a funny story that happened last night. As you know, we're here in New York. I'm coming to you today from high atop the EIB Building in Midtown Manhattan. I told you about this Kobe Club steakhouse, Jeffrey Chodorow's place. I went to it two or three weeks ago when I was here, and I absolutely loved it. I had a great time. I went in there last night and they told me a slew of people have come in to check the place out.That's only the beginning of an encounter that includes Rush and President Clinton yukking it up under the samurai swords last night. Must. Read. Rest assured, the (massively frazzled) Deathwatch Committee has convened an emergency executive session.
BONUS CHODOBLOG DROUGHT WATCH: 11 weeks dry and counting.

Listen. No one likes to see a venue go from Dish to Deathwatch in 8 days, but, then, no one likes to see children starving in Africa either. Life isn't fair, friends. Didier Virot has proven on multiple occasions that he is an excellent cook, but that's not going to get the job done here. FR.OG is by far the worst name for a restaurant in 2007, if not the aught years altogether; it is located on a block that is a lot less prime than it appears (even with its Balthazar views); and the space, about which early reviews are not good, is primarily below-grade. But none of that would have gotten FR.OG Deathwatched where it not for the fact that its cuisine is being billed as 'global', predominantly French (FRench OriGine) with Moroccan and Vietnamese influences.
If anyone out there -- anyone -- can name one restaurant in New York that has successfully combined an expensive design concept with a menu of three so explicitly and deliberately fused cuisines, we'll refer this case to the Deathwatch Appeals Committee. Not good for the case, however: the other French/Moroccan small-box in the area -- smaller and on street level, mind you -- operated by an accomplished French chef didn't make it.
Prognosis/Analysis: InTent FR.OG will last 12-18 months, but by mid-summer she'll be looking to happy hours, drinks specials, theme nights and other Steven Hall PR acrobatics to get the job done.
· The Deathwatch [~E~]
Here now, one of the great Deathwatch ruminations of all time, courtesy of one of you fine fine people:
Can you please clarify your meaning of "death" in respect to your deathwatch list? I mean, in this modern world with advanced resuscitation techniques and artificial means of staying alive, do we need a philosopher to answer to this? I am thinking of Jovia. I was thinking that it'll be sad day when Jovia finally succumbs to the inevitable. I, for one, will miss the antics of Stephen Loffredo and his band of merry investors. But alas, there is life after death, or is there? Jovia will be given a new name (Zoe Townhouse), a new makeover and a new chef. However, you won't be meeting the new boss; Mr. Loffredo and his merry investors will remain. So, when the name change and other changes take place, do we declare Jovia dead or do we just say it kind of morphed? The latter would seem anticlimactic. While some of your readers may consider this trivial and a matter of semantics, in my very humble opinion this matter must be clarified if Eater's Deathwatch is to achieve respectability.The answer here is, of course, Jovia dies with the rename (see also, 66). One can refer to Chapter 8, Sub-paragraph C13 of the Deathwatch Guidelines Manual (New York edition) to confirm. Also, while no formal guidelines prevents us from Deathwatching Zoe Townhouse now, it does seem a tad soon.
Oh, can we cut through the chase and just put Zoe Townhouse on deathwatch now? An Eater first.... a restaurant on deathwatch before it opens its doors.
Here now, the latest in the land of Deathwatching. You did bring flowers, yes? What kind of crazy person comes to the Eater Hospice without at least some tulips?

66
Status: CLOSED
Time on the 'Watch: 54 weeks
Prognosis/Analysis: 66 is to become Matsu Gen, a soba concept. Renovations on the space are underway and a late spring re-open is slated. Case file officially closed on 66.
Jovia
STATUS: DEATHWATCH; 'ZOE TOWNHOUSE' OVERHAUL PLANNED
Time on the 'Watch: 57 weeks
Prognosis/Analysis: Jovia will turn itself into a version of the owners' Soho restaurant Zoe, and currently the plan is to call it Zoe Townhouse. It's not entirely clear at this time why the owners would want to call attention to the fact that their townhouse locale has been cursed since the late 1990s, but that's another story.
|


