Michelin has Twitter accounts for the three US cities with a guide — New York City, Chicago, and San Francisco — and most of the time the tweets are dull and generic platitudes. But all three accounts also have a nasty streak, full of weird passive aggressive energy directed at restaurants, waitstaff, fellow diners, and even their employers. It's obviously programmed by some social media consultants to be "edgy" and get attention. But one thing is very clear: the inspectors, hiding behind the veil of anonymity, lash out and troll on Twitter with the best of them, revealing their cruel and icy hearts.
The Michelin inspectors on Twitter are no different than awful Yelpers who don't bring up issues while in a restaurant. Instead they opt to complain in a very public yet totally anonymous way. Scratch that: They're worse than Yelpers, since Michelin inspectors have actual power. All these negative tweets from Michelin are supposed to be advice or "constructive criticism," but it all comes off as crude, juvenile sniping from their happy little perch built on top of a pile of tires. These tweets probably make the restaurant owners in question shit their pants a little. Here now, the best jaded and angry tweets from Michelin:
@MichelinGuideSF
Left Redd feeling disappointed. Off night guys?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) January 23, 2013
What's up w/ Taqueria Guadalajara? Usually one of my favs, but the last few tacos/burritos I've had have been bland, oily, & under-seasoned.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) December 4, 2012
The bar counter at Cook St. Helena is an exception to dud dining at the bar where service typically suffers.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) November 21, 2012
too bad the food isn't as nice as the setting at Olive & Vine in Glen Ellen
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) August 24, 2012
China Bistro in San Mateo was packed for dim sum this past Sun; chicken feet and shrimp rice noodle roll were good - the rest... meh
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) July 31, 2012
Hmmm, who knew there were two chefs in the Bay area doing a riff on Oysters & Pearls
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) July 18, 2012
lackluster lunch at tataki on california st... maybe an off day?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) June 11, 2012
gamey, tough piece of deer meat that I barely touched at dinner... glad I have dogs to bring it home to
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) May 16, 2012
Brit next to me commented about "foolish Americans" he met on his holiday, then started intently smashing peas on the back of his fork
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) April 6, 2012
Sommelier just told me that one pinot on his winelist is 'exponentially better' than another (same $$). So why even offer the lesser pinot?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) March 21, 2012
to lady at next table: when you complain to server about a bad headache from wine tasting, prob not a good idea to then order a bottle
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) March 17, 2012
was amused watching food bloggers w/ huge cameras & high powered flashes snapping obsessively as their food got cold
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideSF) January 28, 2012
@MichelinGuideNY
Perhaps I was expecting too much, but dinner at Qi Thai Grill was disappointing.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) March 1, 2013
Eesh! Mission Chinese's ma po tofu orbits too close to, dare I say, lasagna filling. I get what he is doing, but why all the gushing?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) February 7, 2013
Service during a recent dinner at Junoon was disappointing. Clumsy and detached; this was not the polished experience I was expecting.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) January 23, 2013
I get the fuss over Scarpetta's spaghetti pomodoro, but recently had a v/good version at Osteria Cotta, minus the circus.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) January 14, 2013
Our anonymity brings all the perks of the average diner, like getting a lousy table and lousier rushed service at Daniel.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) December 12, 2012
It seems petty to charge $1 for bread without notice? It was decent bread, but still.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) December 4, 2012
My opentable res conf from tamarind tribeca informed me that they do not allow highchairs, strollers OR children under 5.seriously!?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) November 29, 2012
Parm's chicken cacciatore is a well translated Italo-American classic w/ a twist. But at bar, the fry smell was overwhelming, oppressive.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) September 19, 2012
food at Brasserie was good, but the service needs work? 35 minutes to clear my empty plate and then wrong dessert order
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) August 31, 2012
Spotted a cockroach the size of a UFO racing across the dining room at avra at lunch the other day?gross.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) August 30, 2012
Apparently those purple bar stools at Corton are only for one cheek.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) August 2, 2012
Servers at Michael Jordan's Steak House treat some people like they want them to hurry up, get on a train, and leave.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) July 16, 2012
Waiters STOP asking me how something is when you can SEE I haven't even taken a bite yet. Seriously. It's so NOT genuine. Grrr.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideNY) March 12, 2012
@MichelinGuideCH
The pulled chicken nachos @hub51 were great, until I bit into the avocado stem.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) February 21, 2013
My employer doesn't pay my parking tickets that result from slow service.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) February 6, 2013
No free drink refills at Lao Mala, pretty sneaky.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) January 30, 2013
I really wish fresh tomatoes were more scarce in Chicago right now.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) January 16, 2013
I know it's cold, and don't want to sound too fuddy duddy; but guys, take off your knit caps during dinner.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) January 5, 2013
The jumbo bulgogi taco from La Tacorea was darn good, but the garlic lime shrimp burrito would've been better if there were shrimp in it.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) December 8, 2012
If it takes a server longer than 15 seconds to explain your concept, rethink your concept.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) December 4, 2012
being told to lick my foie gras plate @elideaschi would've been great if I hadn't just seen a guest flicking her hair near the plating table
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) November 2, 2012
If you're not going to make me re-use my plate for every course, than why keep leaving me with dirty flatware?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) October 16, 2012
All the technique in the world doesn't make up for lack of flavor. Taste your food chefs!
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) October 1, 2012
When you really overcook pork, is it because you don't trust your supplier?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) August 22, 2012
When a wine pro tells me they have a wine that's a lot of fun, I think; do I look like I need "fun"?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) August 8, 2012
I've been served undercooked (raw) chicken four times in a decade, two were last week. Master the fundamentals 1st, then play with LN2.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) July 24, 2012
You would think that a place with a name that translates to "warm bread" would have better bread.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) June 26, 2012
A guy at a table near me recently was wearing so much Old Spice that it seasoned my food.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) June 19, 2012
Has it ever crossed your mind that I may have been to Alinea or Mugaritz or Meadowood or France & know who you are copying?
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) June 8, 2012
The last thing I recall other than dessert when leaving a place are salutations. None from Mercadito despite walking past 4 employees.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) May 18, 2012
Had what seemed like an attempt at a dehydrated lamb kabob at a palace on Randolph, but I'm not naming names.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) May 15, 2012
When you offer 8 desserts, and brag that two are homemade, I have to wonder.
— Michelin Guide (@MichelinGuideCH) April 18, 2012
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