At Bun: Ostensibly, at some point there was food besides half a lime on this plate.

The Hall Company threw a grand opening party at their shiny new Vietnamese restaurant client Bun (pronounced "Boone") last night. This party was an absolute, total, unmitigated, unbearable, unrelenting, horrendous, brutal, horrendously-brutal, brutally-horrendous, wait for it, wait for it some more, we're just about there, shitshow. To be clear, this was not a friends and family tasting, where, sure, mistakes and problems happen. This wasn't even a mid-level opening night horror show. Since there will be many more opening night parties in this town and no one likes to see bad parties happen to good people—though this is quite possibly the last of the Hall Co invites we'll get—here are a couple of party tricks, all from last night, that we'd now like to highlight as things to avoid.

At Bun: This is how you spell shitshow.

1) If you're throwing a party in a tiny narrow space, please do not invite 500 people if you're not going to remove the tables. Note photo above: do you see any room at all to move, because we do not. Related: it's a real problem if all the food is in the back.

2) As the honcho of a small PR firm, it is your responsibility to attend your parties. Kindly stick around to ensure it goes smoothly. Do not skip out for a quickie massage around the corner.

3) Plates of food tend to be a better move than empty plates with labels like "nem of duck and foie gras." But, here's a fun fact we did learn: Empty plates can be made to look somewhat appealing if full plates of gnarly braised duck hearts and tongues are kept close by.

At Bun: The Doorman

4) Generally, when one employs a doorman, the implication is that access to the door will be regulated by said person. If you're going to make it a complete free-for-all, not check names, open up the whole of the storefront, save your restaurant client's money, which is likely scarce to begin with, and keep this guy off the party budget.

At Bun: Pictured here, not the service closet, but the men's bathroom.

5) This one is a bit of a non sequitur in that it doesn't relate to party-throwing specifically, but the above photo of the men's bathroom: yes, that's the whole thing. ToiletWire: not present.

6) The one move you can make to take the edge of a party that promises to be crushing is to keep the booze a-flowing. If you're going to have the people four-deep at the bar, kindly circulate drinks on trays.

7) As decor, non-locals in white blazers and hair gel can be a nice touch.

Filed under Buzz: New Black, Eat: The PR Folks, Manhattan: Soho, Steven Hall

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