Curious Case of the Brooklyn Inn: The Final Fucking Word
Monday, October 1, 2007
Ah, The Brooklyn Inn—Boerum Hill's legendary neighborhood bar, scene of muchspeculation around these parts as ownership traded hands. About a month back, a tipster sent along photos of what appeared to show air-conditioner installation, followed by a Brooklyn Inn regular complaining about some of the changes. Then, silence.
Until this weekend, when an epic missive hit the Eater inbox from Brooklyn Inn manager Jason Furlani, a gentleman we've heard from before. As the wheel turns, Mr. Furlani is not—repeat, not—happy with Eater's coverage of his establishment, and he has the F-bombs on hand to prove it. His email, in full:
The final word on the Brooklyn Inn is that all of the "crazy ass speculation" is just that. Honestly, I've had it—and this will be my last post to this bullshit rumor mill, period. It DID take five guys to remove two air conditioners, you know why....? No, you DON'T!
("You" being ALL of the idiots who have contributed to the "Brooklyn Inn Conspiracy" that have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.) Did it ever occur to "you" that the old air conditioners were built into the wall, so the wall needed to be bricked up after their extraction? Did it ever occur to "you" that perhaps the frenzy of activity was to get the changes done without disrupting any one's yen for a beer? Did it EVER occur to "you" to get a fucking LIFE?
Plainly and collectively the answer is clearly "NO."
We have no plans to put in food, central air conditioning is not only energy efficient but makes the room more comfortable, and the "regulars" are very fond of the new management AND the 'beer nuts'.
Here's a news-flash, jackass - yes, we raised some prices (ONLY on premium liquor - not beer, wine, or otherwise) to standards comparable with the NEIGHBORHOOD - not Manhattan or the "gastro-pub" frat-boy places some individuals speculated the place would be. Yes, we are looking for more creative ways to provide seating WITHOUT removing the pool table. And finally, YES, we're fucking there to stay. And I gotta tell you, as a long-time Brooklynite myself - all this bullshit from the faceless bloggers is simply proof that YOU ain't about Brooklyn - you're bullshit. So fuck off. If "you" or anyone doesn't like something about the Inn - here's a little free advice... DON'T FUCKING DRINK THERE!
I have - and will AGAIN, maintain - that if you want to know what's going on with the Inn, come on down and ask ME. I'm there. I'll gladly answer any and all questions that you (or the dumb-ass conspiracy geek that keeps blindly posting this putrid bunk) may want to know. Come on down and talk to me face-to-face...but we all know - that ain't gonna happen.
That's what i'm talking about... Real brookyln attitude! None of this pretend brooklyn shit. This is the real deal, this is where the real brooklyn is.
Do they serve food?
Yeah, I got some news for you. Jason took out that kickass cash register and replaced it with some lame new one. Totally wrecked the place's vibe -- gutted its mojo. Hey Jason, welcome to the Internet! Now get some better pool sticks! The ones there suck! And while your at it, what kind of decent pub doesn't serve Murphy's?
I was in there on FRiday night 'round 11. The place was dead. I mean dead! Tumbleweeds and all! Jason's an asshole and deserves the dimished business he is in the midst of. Thanks for ruining my neighborhood bar, Jerkoff!
Oh yeah, he's showing us alright! He should be glad the place is being talked about at all. But he's a fucking "longtime Brooklynite," you fucking bunch of fucking fucks! Fuck!
Maybe you could share his email address with the list so that some of us here with experience in public releations, marketing, or hospitality might share some advice with him about how to make a loyal customer base at a beloved neighborhood spot feel welcome.
Yes, there is speculation. Some of it wild; much of uninformed; plenty of it dead wrong. Welcome to the Internets; we've been waiting for you.
There are 101 better ways to field this stuff, Jason.
oh no you di-ent carrollgardener. how could he be an actor if he's been working for the "family for thirteen years"? i guess there's been no roles with "I'M A BROOKLYN-NITE FUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!! offered to him yet. how about an unemployment role?????......
Yeah, CarrollGardner - that's me. Nifty detective work there, Captain. Albeit, it boggles the mind that anyone with a Google bar couldn't have figured that out solo (you Blog cats are supposed to be Internet savvy, no...?) At any rate, what you left out CarrollGardener - or at least missed to see in you exploration of my "bit acting" career - is that there IS a link to my personal email on my website. So, if you (and/or) anyone else wants to talk - feel free to follow the link and shoot me an email. Love to know who I'm actually taking to. Even better - come on down and speak with me in person! I'm there ! You have the address, right?! C'mon over and talk to me! I've put out that offer in at least THREE separate posts now now, and yet STILL there is baseless crap spewing around. If it's actually that important to anyone, come and talk with me...you will SEE that things aren't "terminal" at the Inn.
Man, Eater did not get owned. They're allowed to print whatever sort of speculation they want, most of which their readers very much appreciate, and all the manager of the Brooklyn Inn managed was to make himself look like a humorless tool. I would never want to go there for fear of getting stuck in a conversation with him; he's so longwinded and it seems like he must shout all the time to get his point across. Just write a polite email, let everyone know what's going on, and make yourself look like a friendly, cooperative class act in the process, Furlani. Now you just look like an angry nutjob.
From his website: "A native of Schenectady, NY, Jason Furlani has asserted himself as a ten-year veteran in the New York City film, television and theater world—both as actor and playwright" . Hmmm...10 years ago is approximately when boerum hill started getting overrun by douchebags if I remember right. DONT FUCK WITH SCHENECTADY YOU FUCKING FUCKS CUZ IT'S BETTER THAN OHIO!
About Eater
From the newest temples of haute cuisine to the oldest dive bars in New York, from Batali to McNally, Eater has you covered. More about Eater...
Tipping Is Customary
Know about a restaurant opening or closing in your neighborhood, or other NYC restaurant gossip? Do let us know.
Ah, The Brooklyn Inn—Boerum Hill's legendary neighborhood bar, scene of much speculation around these parts as ownership traded hands. About a month back, a tipster sent along photos of what appeared to show air-conditioner installation, followed by a Brooklyn Inn regular complaining about some of the changes. Then, silence. 
Full-Content Feed
